Just Say NO!

Disclaimer: I am going to rant, I am going to do it here, and I am going to do it now, you have been warned.

I would love nothing more than to be reporting to you all this fine Monday Morning that, as of Patch 3.02s imminence, I am now Tigerfeet, Champion of the Naaru. Sadly this is not the case. I had been bemoaning the desert that has been the <Unemployed> raiding sign-ups, thus severely curtailing my raiding activity, to the venerable Mr. Tigerfeet. He told me that he was slotted to run Magtheridon’s Lair with his guild and a partner guild on Saturday night. Now, they’ve killed him a few times before, so I figured hey, why the hell not! This will probably be my last shot at it and, since he doesn’t need anything from that fight and I’m better geared than him (he didn’t really want to go anyway) it would be win-win for all.

Oh hindsight, how do I love thee and thy ways to see things clearly. Would that you warn me of my folly before I commit to such heinous acts?

Now, I’m a rather self-centered person. When I can do something, do it well, and I know I can do it well, I’m going to be damned frustrated if you don’t let me do it, and you’d better believe I’m going to let everyone know. Alright, I’m wandering, let me try to take this from the top so that it may make sense to those who were not involved.

I stepped into this Mag group thinking it would be a dual-guild run. A 25-man instance with Exiles supplying the DPS because, well, that’s what they’re awesome at (seriously, they get through instances on pure muscle most of the time). I had assumed, seeing as these two guilds had been teaming up for a month or two now that such wonderful things would exist like discipline and focus.

My first hint that there was something wrong was when we all zoned in (half an hour later than their projected start time) and I saw a few Exiles members, some from their guild, but quite a few other random guilds peppered among the ‘regulars’. This was no longer a dual-guild run with me being the odd-man out simply because I didn’t happen to be guilded with <Exiles>. This was a PuG, a 25-man PuG.

Well, ok, I’ve never run with these people, there’s quite a few of my friends from <Exiles> in there, I’ll trust their judgement, see how things are going. It wasn’t that bad, clearing trash was a little bit messy but then they shuffled around tanking assignments and things went more smoothly.

It wasn’t until we got to the boss and the raid leader began explaining the encounter that I started having misgivings. The fight was explained, and explained, and re-explained, and… I timed it. There was 30 solid minutes of explanation. Now, I’m all for people knowing what they’re doing, but the last time I saw a fight explanation go longer than 15 minutes was when <Unemployed> took our first stab at Vasj. Anyone who’s fought Vasj knows what a crazy fight that is and how many moving parts there are. Magtheridon is a tank and spank in comparison.

Despite our Raid Leader’s long-windedness, I found their approach to be a novel one. The summoners would be tanked, and the dps would stay by the door and then the tanks would rotate the kill targets to the DPS. I’ve never done it that way, but it worked pretty well. (Mr. Tigerfeet later informed me this is a tactic first perfected by Death and Taxes)

Then we got to the business of killing Magtheridon and my heart turned cold. There were three healers assigned to the Main Tank, and the other druid was dpsing in bear mode in order to pick up the slack when (not if, when) the MT went down.

I went and checked Be.Imba, this warrior MT was rated up as high as me. Granted, all his gear was badge and PvP gear so he had no tier bonuses, but if you’re muscling around stats that high you should be able to do your job properly, shouldn’t you? Well, apparently not.

This problem was compounded by the OT. That other druid.

Defense: 376

Dodge: 24.8%

Do we see a problem here? Dodge is way too low, and his defense isn’t even high enough to insure that when he does take a hit to the face he won’t get hit by a critical. I started whispering said druid after our third wipe. He couldn’t tell me what his defense was, something about his interface not showing it.

Now, excuse me for being an elitest b*tch, but if you’re going to be tanking I think you had BETTER know what the hell your stats look like. Fully buffed, mine look something like this:

Armor: 30,000+ / Health: 18,000 / 20,000 with imp / Defense: 418 (yea, I’m a little overcapped) / Dodge: 47.38%

Now, am I an idiot, or should I have been Main Tanking? If not main tanking then I sure as hell should have been dpsing in BEAR form, ready to pick up slack when the MT did go down. Because he did die. Every single time he died. With three healers on him, he died.

How hard does Magtheridon hit on plate? Anyone know offhand? I’m pretty damn sure it’s not as hard as Tidalvess hits, and I’ve tanked him with two, count ’em, TWO heaers on me. I remember that fight well, I was eating 3-4k PER SWING. My health was a yo-yo on that fight but dammit if I didn’t tank the snot out of him.

Longer story slightly less long, the raid leader was an idiot, the MT was an idiot, the other druid at least had the grace to let me guilt him into letting me take his spot, but by that time it was 3 1/2 hours later, trash had respawned and the rest of <Unemployed> (who I’d dragged into this mess due to the highest group turn-over rate I’ve ever seen) were having none of this mess.

It was 10:30 on a Saturday night, most of my consummables were gone, I was hopping mad, and I had no Magtheridon kill. Needless to say, I am never ever going to run with that guild ever ever again. I didn’t think it was too much to expect that the only person in the raid geared to raid T6 should be asked to MT, but no. I tanked trash, that’s about it. Mr. Tigerfeet was also pretty livid, I believe his quote was “I gave you gold, she should’ve been MT, instead you substituted slag-filled brass”. Grrrr.

Well, after that fiasco Pilsner asked me if we wanted to make our own Mag pug, I said sure, invited her to group, the couple others who had followed me into that ill-fated venture, then she put out a call to guild “LF21M for Mag!” There were crickets followed by laughter then someone suggested we run kara instead. That was met by joy and, in an astonishingly short order we had a full kara group!

It was a chain-pulling fun-filled step away from a wipe-fest but, we were having fun. Wipes were mostly because, by that time it was pushing midnight and we were all tired. Some highlights of the night were killing attumen with only 8 people (I think tanking assignments were a little confused), maiden requiring three attempts before she went down, Despair dropping from the Opera event, followed by a smooth as silk 1-shot on Nightbane.

We got to Curator, took him down (no T4 gloves for me boo), then the sleepiness really began to set in. By popular consent we skipped both Illhoof and Shade, opting instead to head to the Chess event then call it a night. It took us two or three wipes to get there but we all finished the night in high spirits with a few extra badges to pad our pockets.

EDIT: I felt that if you stayed with me through the whole rant I should probably reward you with something. Out of the Guild Kara run came some great halloween costume ideas, namely:

For the Gents:

Tie a string around a potato and hang it from your zipper. Congratulations, now you’re a dick-tater.

For the Ladies:

Same thing as the Gents except use a lemon instead. Now you’re a Sour-Puss.

Ba-dum-tsh!

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